The Role Your Shadow Plays
The shadow is a part of all of us, or rather we all have a shadow. The shadow can be understood as the parts of that we push away and repress unconsciously, typically out of self-preservation. Ultimately, the shadow is the part of us that we don’t want to see.
Each time that we reject, deny, or disown parts of ourselves, our experiences in the past, or our true actions - we create or amplify the shadow.
We carry our shadow with us, wherever we go, especially when we don’t have awareness of our shadow or acknowledge it - it remains unconscious, yet potentially wreaking havoc as it surfaces and affects our daily life. There may be moments that give us glimpses or insights into our shadow, and the characteristics or traits that underlie our shadow.
When we think of the shadow, we may presume that only negativity is associated with the shadow. Characteristics of shadow can include jealousy, greed, lust, and unworthiness. Within the shadow are positive characteristics as well, sometimes they may feel too painful to acknowledge. The unacknowledgement of the shadow can come from early life experiences, perhaps these parts of ourselves were seen as “bad” or “wrong” or “undesirable”, so to self-preserve and protect, we stuffed them down. Although they don’t leave or resolve themselves.
The truth is, the more you try and reject or avoid these parts of yourself, the more they show up more pervasively.
The first step to reclaiming your power and integrating your shadow is to face these dark and uncomfortable parts of yourself that make you the most human by acknowledging the shadow. Turning towards, uncovering and illuminating light on our shadow requires work by practicing courage, curiosity and patience as we explore the shadow, and dismantle the shame behind it.
The healing path to feeling whole and complete can only be unlocked through understanding, integrating and learning how to work with your shadow - not against it. You can begin to do this by reflecting “when was the last time I acted in a way that doesn’t align with my character?”
It’s in these moments that we are offered insight into our shadow, shining a light inwards. As we begin to reflect and identify the shadow, we must do so gently. Showing ourselves compassion as we dive into the shadow, recognizing it may bring up criticism and shame that was buried underneath. We can allow ourselves to become curious about what comes up for us, curiosity helps guide us away from self-criticism. We ought to be cautious to not push these newly discovered parts of us back into the shadows through self-criticism or judgement.
Giving ourselves grace and validating whatever comes up for us as we do this work is also a part of healing. Offering ourselves a safety to explore through curiosity. This looks like digging deeper by asking ourselves “why” to keep uncovering each layer.
Why may I be feeling this way?
What might this reaction or response be telling me?
Where may this (feeling, reaction, narrative) be coming from?
How can I sit with and accept this feeling in this moment, rather than push away or distract?
Shadow work is how to begin to make our unconscious conscious, integrating our shadow while we practice compassion, curiosity and patience.
This deep healing work is possible. If therapy and coaching isn't accessible or affordable, if you feel that you need something more self-paced. If this blog post has resonated with you - then The Journey Within Workbook is for YOU. I invite you to listen to the calling. This is where you can find more information about The Journey Within, to guide you through understanding your trauma + shadow parts.
The Journey Within Is For You If You’re Looking To:
investigate the origins of your shadow, how it was created, understand how it both protects and sabotages you
Take a very honest look at all aspects of yourself in order to reclaim any parts that have been rejected.
No longer allow outside experiences to control you; instead, you've chosen to step into your integrated, powerful self.
